Have you found that you are jerking off all the time? Is it getting in the way of you living your life to the fullest? Does your hand and wrist constantly hurt? Is it affecting your performance with girls? Well we have put together these helpful tips to help you stop touching your tip.
You should try to stop watching porn. This is really the first stage of quitting the fap addiction. I would say the only thing that got me to stop was using my morals to shame myself. When I tried to quit because of self-improvement/ increase sexual performance, I would always relapse. An addiction is an addiction, your mind will trick you into thinking getting pleasure is more important than any self improvement. What actually made me stop porn was realizing how toxic porn was for society. I really had to think about how degrading, objectifying and dehumanizing it was towards women. Millions of men watching women be used and abused in so many different ways, and I was part of it.
My porn addiction had reached the point where I knew I was watching women get abused and I was enjoying it, I had become a monster. I think once I made the connection that these women were real and humans who deserved more respect, I felt so guilty.
It was guilt and shame that made me stop.
Porn is just the first step though, fapping is another story. I struggled to quit fapping for months after I stopped watching porn (in particular I would fap through sexting with strangers). There wasn’t enough guilt or shame that could stop me. I was needing new solutions.
The 3 Things That Cured Me
- EXERCISE. Do not underestimate the power of sexual energy. You feel sexually frustrated because you have pent up sexual energy. You need to release it, if you do no expend the energy through physical activity you will relapse. It is inevitable. My sexual frustration was so strong that it actually made me visit the gym daily, something I could never motivate myself to do before when I was fapping. However, since the start of November, England has been under lockdown which has meant I have not been able to go to the gym this month. I really thought I was going to relapse. I didn’t relapse though because of the following:
- WORK. This month, uni work has kept me busy. Ever since starting my masters degree the assessments have been weekly and non-stop. I’ll find myself doing work all day and won’t be even thinking about fapping. There’s simply no time to waste. Keep yourself productive / take on more responsibilities / look for a job. Having a full schedule will distract you from the addiction. There is one problem though… I found that the moment my work load lightened up for me and I had a day off, the urges came back so hard. The work stress and lack of outlet (like the gym) basically meant I was storing all my sexual energy and it wanted to be the released the moment I wasn’t distracted. This is obviously dangerous for relapse, which is why the next step is the most important to implement.
- BLOCK WEBSITES ON YOUR PHONE/COMPUTER LAPTOP. Unfortunately if you don’t have an iPhone, I can’t guarantee you can do this. But on my iPhone and Mac laptop I have managed to block all porn websites, all chat sites like Omegle, anything remotely sexual or tempting for example Instagram. On my Mac laptop I went full nuclear mode, I downloaded “SelfControl”, this application permanently blocks any URLS. I mean permanently block. You can update your laptop all you want, when u block it with this application there is no way to unblock it unless you do a factory reset on your laptop. It has made it impossible to access anything sexual on my laptop. As for my phone, this application doesn’t exist. So I’ve had to use screen time in order to block it, if you go on screen time – content and privacy restrictions – content restrictions, you can manually type in URLs that you don’t want to access. You can then apply a passcode, obviously you’re going to have to get someone else to make the passcode so that u can not change the settings you’ve set yourself. This has been a life saving intervention. There has been times during this no fap journey where I was desperate to fap, i had reached really low points and had tried to find something on the internet to fap to but because I blocked everything it was impossible. I wanted to relapse but I physically couldn’t. I was frustrated and angry (if the gyms had been open I would have gone immediately). I was forced to ride through the urges. Now I’m so happy I did this, I feel so good. I feel free from my addiction, I feel awake and I don’t feel shit.
These three rules have made it impossible for me to relapse, you just have to try it too.
What has been your biggest struggle?