We have put together the best collection of the funniest sex toys in the world.
With the upcoming release of the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie sequel Fifty Shades Darker we thought we would put together a list of the most funniest sex toys and accessories.
Cyberskin Twerking Butt Light Deluxe
When you can’t be with Miley Cyrus so you watch the video of her twerking her ass off on some guy while you are using this twerking dildo machine.
Fifty Shades Darker Dark Desire Advanced Couples Kit
Be careful buying the advanced model maybe you should start with the beginner model till you get some experience up, said no girl ever!!!
Rainbow Unicorn Mask
Everyone is swiping right on tinder trying to find their unicorn. Give your girl hers right now by buying and wearing one of these masks in bed for her. She will love the horn on the unicorn entering her pussy if she doesn’t pee on you from laughing so hard first.
Latrine Extreme Funnel Gag
I swear baby, it’s just for snorkeling at the beach and stuff.
Strict Leather Neck Corset
In ancient times humans used to wear stiff gold jewellery around their necks as a measure of wealth. In ancient times African and Asian cultures used to wear these neck rings to stretch their necks to become more attractive to the opposite sex. Now girls wear these neck corsets to be sexy AF for their sick twisted boyfriend that has been watching the most sickest porn shit on TOR. This is what happens when girls watch fifty shades darker and think they will try and be kinky for their man.
Rubber Gas Mask Hood
Not sure if just cooked up a batch of meth in the basement or if getting ready to go deep sea diving in the ocean.
Spandex Zipper Mouth Hood With Eye Holes
When he looking at you with his rape eyes.
The Meat Cleaver Stainless Steel Urethral Stretcher
When you and a mate do a fuck load of meth and think “let’s invent the best sex toy ever that will give the best pleasure”. It’s like the person that invented this was fired from the secret service for taking their enemy torture methods too far.
Pink Stainless Steel Adjustable Female Chastity Belt
This is for when your daughter is acting like a slut and is all like, “cash me outside howbow dah”.
Party Girl Vibrating Clit Teaser
When your dildo looks like it’s giving the middle finger to some fucker that has just pulled out in front of it aggressively while it was driving down the highway.
Kink Wet Works Waterproof Bedding
When you pick up a girl in the club and go back to her house. You arrive and walk into her room and you see she has this waterproof bedding on her bed. You know shit just got real and things are about to go down like donkey kong. You just hope you have had enough drugs and booze to forget all the freaky shit you about to have done to your body cavities.
King Cock Deluxe Hot Seat Inflatable Vibrating
Sitting on a inflatable ball is meant to be good for your core fitness and posture. I’m not sure what that thing sticking out the top in the middle is. Maybe it’s just there to help you hold on so you don’t fall off? Kind of like some form of joystick you use in a helicopter.
Total Sensory Deprivation White Leather Hood
When your girl is into video games and wants you to dress up like you are ready to star in mortal kombat.
Neck Corset Harness With Stuffer Gag
Kitana Wins !!!!
Premium Leather Sleep Sack
When you are wearing this and you think to yourself ‘where did I go wrong with my life choices’.
Hannibal Style Bondage Hood
When you want to dominate Halloween and scare the living fuck out of everybody, especially those that have seen the movie Hannibal.
Cheek Retractor Dental Mouth Gag
Dad, WTF does mom have in her mouth? I swear son, it’s to help your mom improve her smile.
Deluxe Puppy Play Essentials Kit
Cause when your girl is wearing a dog mask and weird things on her hands you instantly think, ‘hey, I’m horny looking at you and wanna fuck you’.
Ultimate Duffle Bag
Hope your bag doesn’t get lost at the airport by your airline. Or when you accidentally pick up the wrong bag before you leave home to travel overseas and you have to go through customs. You had better pray the customs officer’s favorite movie is fifty shades of gray or you gonna be locked up for twenty years in jail.
Hope you enjoyed our list. Don’t be afraid to share it with your dirty friends.